I have hit another fat loss plateau and this is a doozy. Of course I’m bummed about it. I’ve been losing weight the right way, slow and steady, and doing what I should be doing, and this bump in the road comes along and fucks it all up. Adapt and overcome, I got it, I got it. While struggling to find a way to beat the dreaded plateau I always come across some very helpful and at times colorful men and women, who with best intentions, dole out bizarre, unsound, and outdated weight loss tricks. So below you will read some of the advice from very helpful and at times colorful men and women, who with best intentions and want to see me become a Marine, dole out bizarre, unsound, and outdated weight loss tricks.
You need to sit in a sauna wearing a plastic suit!
No I don’t. That’s not fat loss, that’s water loss. And I’m not looking to lose water weight. If I have a serious case of monthly bloat, I still wouldn’t follow this. Mainly because I don’t have the time to sit in a room and sweat, secondly it’s just water weight. But if you’re that close to your max weight as long as you don’t keel haul in the sauna you are an adult.
No eating after 6/7/8/…4pm?
Your body doesn’t know the difference between 0600 and 1800. It really doesn’t. So you had a cup of veggies at 1830, your body is not going to say, “Sucker! I’m storing this as fat! Hahaha!” Or even if he cup of veggies was two bowls of ice cream, day or night, an hour after you wake up or an hour before you go to sleep, your body processes it just the same. At the end of the day it’s all about the calories in and the calories out.
Just take some laxative.
Because ruining my lower intestinal tract is exactly what I need. I look forward to being constipated 24/7/365 in my senior years or wearing a diaper because I no longer have control of my anus.
You gotta do the Master Cleanse! (Or any cleanse for that matter.)
Those juice cleanses are jokes. Jokes! Yet, they’re not funny. Speaking of jokes; two peanuts were walking down the street, once was a salted.
Cleanses go by the theory that the body needs to be rejuvenated every so often. What most people don’t know is that the body does just fine as long as you treat it right. That means knock it off with the soda, fast food, and high processed junk you keep shoving in your mouth. During a cleanse you are starving your body of the food it needs. The result is a loss of water and muscle weight. Once you resume your normal eating habits, you’ll gain the weight back and then some because you have slowed down your metabolism. And I’m no fool, I don’t want that. So take that natural holistic misguided crap somewhere else, preferably the trash.
If you feel the need to undo damage, take a day to eat as many servings of veggies, water, and lean proteins. It’s that simple.
*I do not have formal training in nutrition. Everything is based on my own research through conversations with those that do hold professional training/degrees in nutrition or exercise/sports/health.
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